The 22 June 2013 issue of the British magazine Amateur Photographer has the following letter from Melvyn Dover, Dorset:

While out taking pictures recently, I decided that what we need is a British camera. It would need the following spec and features”

White balance that goes from ‘very, very cloudy’ to ‘even cloudier’

Waterproof to a height of 3m

Double-glazed lens

Anti-shiver lens stabilization

A ‘censor’ mode, in which the camera refuses to take pictures of people, children, airports, military bases, politicians, shopping centres and police

To attract British shoppers, it would be labelled ‘cheaper’ and come with a six-week full-quibble guarantee

It would be available from out local photographic stores – go round the one-way system three times, leave the queue at the wrongly labelled exit and head for the park and ride